The Red Hot Lovers

Bill Smarme & His Mate Dave are The Red Hot Lovers and we are what all you sophisticated ladies out there have been waiting for. We perform sexy music perfect for a night of passion and desire. Disco Classics are our speciality and you'll want to get on up and boogie on down with us. We don't put ourselves on any kind of rock star pedestal and we are completely approachable and open to being touched anywhere. (Well, above the knee is best for me due to varicose veins lower down).

As you may know, I have a building firm called Smarmerection. One day this rep Dave Dormer comes in, floggin' rooflights. We went for lunch in the pub (me boozer The Smarme's Arms as it happens) and after we'd exhausted the subject of rooflights, which didn't take long, for some unknown reason I asked Dave if he played keyboards. He said funnily enough he did, so we just took it from there, and the rest, as they say, is historical.

At a recent gig, Venue Magazine described us as "...unctuous karaoke king of your worst nightmares, with a 1980's-style synth god who quickly had us wetting ourselves..." I've no ideal what unctuous means but it sounds pretty good to me, particularly as it's got three u's in it. (Bonbon's Big Nite, Widcombe Social Club, 7/6/07).